Appearances

I have had so many of my friends comment on the havoc COVID lockdown is having on their grooming routines. Some are happy with the situation. Those are the ones for whom lipstick is a pain in the proverbial. And I get that, I do. You have to be colour confident and take the time to apply in a manner that will ensure it stays on your lips and not elsewhere. Many do not care for the look anyway, so an excuse not to bother is welcome.

But – and readers should know this by now – I am not one of those people.

Today I had occasion to take stock of my grooming. The law firm I start with on Monday wanted a full body shot that they could adapt for their website. Since I am forced to start work from home as an Auckland captive, I had to supply my own photograph. Unsurprisingly none of my casual shots would do, and I had to don professional attire and put my friendly home photographer to work.

Well – how long is it since you wore a dress or a skirt? I mostly wear trousers in the office, but they will not do for a marketing shot. My legs are pastie white and unwaxed. I chose a longish dress. A bright colour for impact, but toned down with a navy blazer. I felt like a fraud. Then I squeezed my feet into court shoes. My feet have been treated to nothing but slippers and sneakers for months. They immediately protested.

I could not do the dress up. Not because it was too tight, but because I have forgotten how to contort myself to pull up a centre back zipper. That is to say, I am now unable to dress myself without assistance.

But getting dressed was the easy part. Make-up was not a problem. I wear make-up every day, even if I never leave the house. It makes me feel better to look good, or at least presentable. Choosing a bright red lipstick in place of the usual subdued tones gave my face a bit of a shock. But the real problem was hair.

The hair on my head has not been cut for over three months. It is long and lank and shapeless, and there is little I can do about it. At least it was freshly washed. The hair of my eyebrows is even more of a problem. Did you know how important is the manner in which your eyebrows frame your face? My eyebrows do not so much frame my face as threaten to take it over. And worse, they are going rapidly grey! Acceptable on my head but not on my face. Then there is the fact that since I now wear glasses full-time I have given up my life-time mascara addition to avoid permanently grubby lenses. But I compensate by getting my eye lashes dyed, and of course that has not happened either.

Ruby Wax I never realised how important you were to me!

Johan was busy and I was not in the mood, so we scrambled through the compulsory photo shoot and hoped for the best. I am sending this photo off to a marketing women who has never met me, and who will on the basis of my current state probably wonder why they are hiring me at all. Hopefully she will apply PhotoShop, but unfortunately when I go out the door it is just me people see.