Some departures are sudden, others take a little time. Often they are brutal.
Yesterday with my mother and sister I attended the funeral of a very old family friend. Although in good health, she died suddenly of a heart attack just a few months shy of her 90th birthday. The traditional Roman Catholic requiem mass was more formal than many funerals are nowadays, but it still incorporated an elegant eulogy by her daughter and the now ubiquitous parade of photos on a screen. What it lacked was the essence of that tiny, intense, beautiful lady – her vitality. I longed for some non-religious music to liven the event and for a recording of her remarkable laughter to ring through the church.
Even so, it was a warm and fitting farewell, and remarkable to re-unit with her four children who we grew up alongside so long ago. All three sons, so different as children, are barely distinguishable from each other now so much do they resemble their long-departed father. “I’m Linda”, I said to the one who is my age and with whom I had rambled and scrambled through childhood. “I know who you are”, he said. “You should”, I replied as we hugged. What is 50 years after all in the scheme of things?
The other thing that happened yesterday was that I left the firm I have been with for 19 years, and the partnership there I have been part of for 15 years. It had been coming for a while, but the final cut was an online meeting first thing in the morning that relegated me to ‘garden leave’ until my notice period expires at the end of September. To be honest, it was a relief. I had been working from home in a state of chronic anxiety since advising the partners in my team over a fortnight ago that my retirement from the partnership also meant I would be leaving the firm and going elsewhere. It was the ‘elsewhere’ that proved problematic. Although I will be working part-time in the future, and certainly not as a partner, law firms do not always take kindly to their members transferring their knowledge and skills to potential competitors.
The chill that set in as my advice sunk in was perhaps predictable, but devastating none the less. I know that my departure has been the subject of internal discussion, but with one exception the partners beyond my team have not spoken to me since. Aware that I was under threat of garden leave, I removed the personal items from my workstation a couple of weekends ago rather than risk having to do so under the scrutiny of staff members. The office equipment I have at home is to be collected by our IT man, so I will literally never step foot in my office again.
Yes folks, it really is just like you see in the movies. You pack your stuff in a box, hand over the keys to security, and leave the building for good.
Hard feelings? No. Disappointment? Yes.
It really did not have to be like this. But I wish them well. When it was good it was very good. When it was bad ….